What's wrong?

A quest which is really bugging me for day in day out, don’t know what goes wrong with me every now and then. Why do I get lost amidst failures, why do I always peep into future, why do I get too hard on myself? Careless whispers always haunt and helplessly I find no answer to it. This is not the first time I lost control over myself, it's been repeatedly happening since childhood. I want to win my world and try to do that, however the attitude which I carry makes me sometime winner at the same time looser.
It's not that I don't want or try to overcome it, I have tried not to think too hard or take something too serious but whatever the reason it does not happen. Somehow today I lost too and the thing which I try to avoid, it happened again. I am upset...my face can’t hide, it narrates the whole story.